Tragicomical - Celebrity gossip so tragic...it's comical.

Jessica Simpson trash talks Melrose Place

Roberta — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:07:03 GMT

Jessica Simpson is taking up for her sister after she was canned from "Melrose Place".

Like a good sister, Jessica plainly called the show "crap" after they gave Ashlee the boot.

She took to her Twitter page to say this:

CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.

I guess she's saying what her sister wants to say, but doesn't want to be looked at like she's unprofessional for saying it.

Have you seen the new "Melrose Place"? If so, what are your thoughts on it?

I haven't seen it, but I do know that they are bringing back Heather Locklear. Rumor had it that she had something to do with Ashlee getting fired from the show. But that's just a rumor, at this point.

Jon Gosselin misses Hailey Glassman

Roberta — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:53:22 GMT

Even though Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman are officially taking a break, Jon took the opportunity to try a little bit of redemption.

He apologized to his ex-wife Kate, for dating someone in the public eye so quickly after their separation.

Jon said, "I want to apologize to Kate in private. I'll apologize to her for openly having relationships in the public eye. That was a huge mistake, because if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off. Not because our relationship is over, it's almost like a stab in the back. And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it."

And today, he tweeted that he still misses Hailey:

Going home to see my kids,-excited, but i'll miss Hailey =-(. She has made me realize I need to be an honest person/father for my kids.

Think he's being sincere? Or is he getting to be a good actor?

Christopher Walken covers Lady Gaga

Roberta — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:24:13 GMT

Christopher Walken is a crack up. He was on BBC1's show "Friday Night With Jonathon Ross" when he read from the lyrics to "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga.

I wonder if he's ever even heard the song before.....It's funny, though, so I thought I would share.

Adam Lambert is single!

Roberta — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:27:33 GMT

After Drake LaBry took one look at Adam Lambert's album cover for his debut of "For Your Entertainment", he was out the door. (Just kidding about the album cover.)

Adam and Drake are officially over now. After the two were seen having a bit of a spat in October, it appears that they've called it quits.

I wonder what really caused the rift between the two of them...

Either way, we'll all be able to enjoy Adam's new album, which is set for release on November 23rd.

Maybe it had something to do with Adam saying that he liked to kiss girls in his "Details" interview? Hmmm....

Russell Brand wants babies with Katy Perry

Roberta — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:21:54 GMT

They've been only dating for a little over a month now, but Russell Brand says that he's ready for babies with girlfriend Katy Perry.

Speaking of her, he said, "Katy's lovely. I am living in a different way at the moment. Regardless of what happens in my current situation, I am unlikely to be satisfied with calamitous promiscuity of the preceding five or six years."

When it came down to the question of children, he said, "I am ready for children actually. It's been seven years since I took drugs. I've made a film. I don't have to fight so much. I've grown weary of the carousel."

Can you imagine what their kids would look like?

I'm not on team Russell or team Katy, either way, so I'm not sure who's slumming it here. Are you?

And why the rush?

Lady Gaga's egg performance

Roberta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:34:39 GMT

As if you didn't already think Lady Gaga was weird enough, then here's some news for you. Apparently, the "Bad Romance" singer is planning something interesting for her Monster Ball Tour.

At the beginning of her shows, she plans on hatching from an egg and will show the evolution of her character from the beginning.

Maybe this will be the start of seeing Lady Gaga as herself, without all of the makeup and pomp and circumstance.

I do love her music, though, and will continue to support her as an artist, no matter how weird it gets.

Of her tour plans, she said, "I actually hatch out of an egg in the show. That's the beginning of the show. It's kind of the beginning of evolution. I begin as a cell. The show is based on this theme of evolution, which has a lot to do with how I've changed over the years, and in a symbolic way of describing myself as a person, as Gaga."

Interesting indeed.

There might be a Men In Black 3

Roberta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:23:25 GMT

According to reports, we may just see another Men In BlackTommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. movie. I can't wait! I loved the first two, I'm just hoping that they bring back

Movie execs are signing up the screenwriter who did Tropic Thunder for the task of drafting a script for a third movie in the franchise.

I hope they bring back all of the original people for this one and do it up right.

But I must say that Hollywood is almost all out of ideas.

Jessica Simpson wants to date intelligent men

Roberta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:04:59 GMT

Jessica Simpson, God love her, seems to be trying so hard to convince all of us that she's not this vapid creature.

As much as I used to like her music and feel that she's picked on A LOT, I think she doth protest too much.

I would be more likely to believe she was an intellectual being had she opted to enroll in some sort of post-secondary education. Having seen her MTV show, Newlyweds once, I was convinced that she isn't too bright.

I'm not trying to be rotten here, like I've said, I was a fan of her pop music. Now that she's on the market again, Jessica is telling everyone what she wants in a man....and one of those things is someone who is an intellectual.

My first thought was, "Why? So he could explain the punchlines to jokes to you?"

All of this, even after her public relationship with John Mayer....How intellectual is he really?

Who would be the perfect guy for Jess? What do you think?

Paris Hilton to go on a world tour?

Roberta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:49:17 GMT

Paris Hilton thinks her music is so awesome that she is considering going on a world tour.

According to sources, the heiress just might please the whole 3,000 people who purchased her first album, by going on a world tour.

She's currently working on her sophomore effort and said that it could lead to her first ever tour.

Would you ever pay to hear her sing?

I wouldn't waste my hard earned money on her, it's a tough economy, and there are far better musical acts to see.

Chris Brown does need to shut up!

Roberta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:10:56 GMT

Some Helpful Banana sent me this news, so I thought I would share :)

Chris Brown needs surgery to have his jaw wired shut and his hands broken so he can't continue to type his douchiness via Twitter, because this has gone on long enough.

Chris came out with a couple of new songs and his fans are going on hardcore about how DOPE he is, etc, etc.

I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! (that was a "womantrum"™)

Obviously Chris still thinks we care that he has a musical career and tweeted this:

OFFICIAL ALBUM DATE: DECEMBER 15... GRAFFITI... NOW BLOG ABOUT THIS..LOL

Not interested, Chris. Sorry, but you officially suck.

Even more recently, he's going on and on about parties that he's going to and all that jazz. Can we have his Twitter account suspended so he won't infect the planet with his stupidity?

Michael Jackson autopsy photo being leaked?

Roberta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:18:25 GMT

Rumor has it that there's a Michael Jackson autopsy photo making it's way around Los Angeles.

Just a day after his final curtain call, "This Is It" made its premiere, there's someone passing around a photo of Michael, after he passed away.

There's no glitz and glamour for his memory there, why don't people just leave him alone already and let him rest in peace.

According to a source who has seen the photo, they've said that the quality is too good to be just a cell phone photo.

Of those who have seen the photo, here is their description:

It is of Jackson, his eyes wide open, lying on his back on a metal autopsy table. The picture is of Jackson’s head only, and taken from the corpse’s left side, from someone who was standing, and at about a 30-degree angle toward the body. The front of the pop star’s skull is shaved. His ashen face is stripped of any makeup. The lips are flat and wide, but without lipstick. A scar, which he had hidden under makeup whenever he went out, is visible on his left check. His tattooed eyebrows are the only other visible mark on his face.

I would not want to see that and wouldn't want this shared with anyone if he were part of my family. It's gross, humiliating, and it takes away from all of the goodness he brought to the world with his music.

There will be no Jon Gosselin/Octomom reality show

Roberta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:10:22 GMT

After Nadya Suleman said that she thought Jon Gosselin was hot, it was rumored that the two of them would be doing a reality show together.

Fueling the fire, a former producer of "Cheaters" came forward and said that the reality show would come to fruition where the two parents of multiples would actually date.

Not so, says his mouthpiece:

Gosselin’s lawyer Michael Heller that the report is bogus, and that there’s no special show in the works. Could you even imagine the insanity of the two parents and their cumulative 22 children running around? It would be too much even for reality television.

I guess we can thank God for small favors, right?

Besides that, who would want to watch that trainwreck??? Not I, that's for sure.

Stephanie Pratt could go to jail

Roberta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:06:27 GMT

While her brother is prancing around as Jon Gosselin, Stephanie Pratt was formally charged with DUI yesterday.

It was said that she could face up to six months in the slammer as well as a fine of $1,000, if convicted of the charge against her.

She had a blood alcohol level of .08 on the first try, which is the legal limit. But after a second blow, she blew a .09.

I think she has enough celebrity status to get her about 45 minutes in jail.

I wish she and her brother would just fade away by now.

The DUI incident occured on October 18th, so I have to wonder why it took them so long to charge her.

Did Josh Duhamel cheat on Fergie?

Roberta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:01:11 GMT

A stripper named Nicole Forrester, who works at Atlanta stripjoint Tattletales is claiming that she had a night of passion with Josh Duhamel.

Before passing her story off to the National Enquirer (ie: selling it), she was said to have passed a lie detector test.

He told her that he was there working on a porn film, then took her back to his hotel room, where they did the horizontal mambo until the morning.

She says he was "the best lover" she ever had.

His rep said, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity."

I wonder what Fergie thinks about this....A stripper got to win more than a date with Tad Hamilton. Nice. Stay classy, Josh.

Heidi & Spencer do Jon & Kate

Roberta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:07:36 GMT

Even though Jon and Kate Gosselin are no longer being "themselves", Spencer PrattHeidi Montag opted for costumes of them for Halloween. and

That's just so cheesy, he doesn't even resemble the Ed Hardy level of douchiness that Jon exhibits.

As far as Heidi's costume, the hair is begging for more porcupine.

I guess as Halloween draws closer, we'll get to see how many more celebrities will try to one up each other.

This is only the beginning....

I think Speidi should have factored in the new girlfriend, Hailey. That would've made things more exciting and realistic. They could've given her a bong for a prop.